You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
