You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
