I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
