I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
