great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
