We won't sleep together?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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