so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
