You work out of a Hotel?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
