she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
