Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Randomize
