remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
