Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
