My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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