didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize