Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
