winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize