i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
