Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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