Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize