ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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