you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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