I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
