It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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