I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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