Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
