We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Sorry my hands just texted you
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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