New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
