Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
