K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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