Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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