why didn't you poke me back
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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