They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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