So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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