just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
