The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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