i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
