I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize