You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
