so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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