Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am in a vortex of obligation.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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