somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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