U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
