i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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