CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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