My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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