Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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