She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's never too late to be topless.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
