Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
