well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
