spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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