You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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