You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
