sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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