You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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