I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
