It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Houston, we have a blender
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize