My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bring me that man meat
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
