i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
