True but thats because hes a fetus.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
