I skipped work to stalk him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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