If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
