Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
